How many times have I said the words, “I am not going to drink tonight!” OR “I am not going to stop at the store on the way home tonight.” Then my all time favorite, “I am not drunk!” Of course I was drunk 90% of the time when I would say that in response to my husband and if I was not drunk I was well on my way to getting there.
So many famous last words for those of us who drank. Yes, I said drank because for me I wanted my famous last words to be, “I can’t wait to get home to my family.” OR “Hey do you want to watch tv with me or do you want me to read a book to you.” I wanted to surprise everyone in my family when they were going to the movies or store and I would want to come with them. These things did not really happen for many years before as chose to isolate myself to hide my secret.
My famous last words and my drinking became infamous in many ways. I did not have to worry about famous last words, because I was to the point where I did not even really want to have lengthly conversations or be around many people to say any famous last words. Not to mention perhaps slurrying my famous last words for that particular evening.
Life is made up of moments, messages and finally words many, many words, that can either hurt or heal people. My new famous last words are the ones that heal me and help others. Honestly, I don’t know what all my new famous last words will be each day or each night but they won’t be, “I am not Drunk!
I will drive past the store, I will stay sober and maybe, just maybe I just told you my most famous last words.